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Phil Green (played by Rhys Ifans) is the uncle of the Green children, and the brother of Rory Green. Phil has a gambling problem and had gambled the Greens farm away in a casino. Hit-women, Miss Topsey and Miss Turvey warned Phil they would remove his kidneys unless he gave them the deeds to the farm, and Phil tries to convince Isabel to sell the farm.

After his first attempt to make Isabel sell the farm fails, he forges a telegram informing Isabel that Rory has been killed in action. This time, his plan almost succeeds, but an enemy pilot accidently drops a bomb into the barley field. The bomb doesn't explode, but it causes the ground to shake violently and the fountain pen Isabel is using spills ink and ruins her signature. Thinking this means that Topsey and Turvey are coming for him, Phil becomes hysterical and when Norman reveals Phil forged the telegram that said Rory was dead, Phil admits his wrongdoing and Isabel leaves him handcuffed to a rail above the cooker before she and the children go off to disarm the unexploded bomb.

Whilst Isabel and the children are out, Phil tries to make something to eat, but Topsey and Turvey show up and tell him they've decided not to remove his kidneys, but to stuff him instead so they can put him in the entrance to the casino as a warning to others. Before they can start the ghastly procedure, a huge gust of wind, resulting from Nanny McPhee's pet jackdaw, Mr. Edelweiss letting out an almighty burp after eating explosive putty, blows open the window and propels first Miss Topsey, and then Miss Turvey out the front door, saving Phil. For a brief moment, Phil forgets that he is handcuffed to the cooker and when he tries to walk off, he gets yanked back and winds up sitting on a hot hob, roasting his backside in the process. Phil's final fate is uncertain, though it's very likely he was arrested for forgery.

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